A Story
of Love
Racconto pubblicato nell’antologia
Long After Midnight
titolo italiano Tempo
fermo
edito nell’antologia Molto dopo mezzanotte
That was the week Ann Taylor came
to teach summer school at Green Town Central. It was the summer of her
twenty-fourth birthday, and it was the summer when Bob Spaulding was just
fourteen.
Every one remembered Anna
Taylor, for she was that teacher for whom all the children wanted to bring
huge oranges or pink flowers, and for whom they rolled up the rustling
green and yellow maps of the world without being asked. She was that woman
who always seemed to be passing by on days when the shade was green under
the tunnels of oaks and elms in the old town, her face shifting with the
bright shadows as she walked, until it was all thing to all people. She
was the fine peaches of summer in the snow of winter, and she was cool
milk for cereals on a hot early-June morning. Whenever you needed on opposite,
Ann Taylor was there. And those rare few days in the world when the climate
was balanced as fine as maple leaf between winds that blew just right,
those were days like Ann Taylor, and should have been so named on the calendar.
As for Bob Spaulding, he was
the cousin who walked alone through town on any October evening with a
pack of leaves after him like a horde of Halloween mice, or you would seem
hem, like a slow white fish spring in the tart water of the Fox Hill Creek,
baking brown with the shine of a chestnut to his face by autumn. Or you
might hear his voice in those treetops where the wind entertained; dropping
down hand by hand, there would come Bob Spaulding to sit alone and look
the world, and later you might see him on the lawn with the ants crawling
over his book as he read through the long afternoons alone, or played himself
a game of chess on Grandmother’s porch, or picked out a solitary tune upon
the black piano in the bay windows. You never saw him with any other child.
That first morning, Miss Ann
Taylor entered through the side door of the schoolroom and all of the children
sat still in their seat as they saw her write her name on the board in
a nice round lettering.
"My name is Ann Taylor." She
said, quietly. "And I’m your new teacher."
The room seemed suddenly flooded
with illumination, as if the roof had moved back; and the trees were full
of singing birds. Bob Spaulding sat with a spitball he had just made, hidden
in his hand. After a half hour of listening to Miss Taylor, he quietly
let the spitball drop to the floor.
That day, after class, he
brought in a bucket of water and a rag and began to wash the board.
"What’s this?" She turned
to him from her desk, where she had been correcting spelling papers.
"The boards are kind of dirty."
Said Bob, at work.
"Yes. I know. Are you sure
you want to clean them?"
"I suppose I should have asked
permission." He said, halting uneasily.
"I think we can pretend you
did." She replied, smiling, and at this smile he finished the boards in
an amazing burst of speed and pounded the erasers so furiously that the
air was full of snow, it seemed, outside the open window.
"Let’s see." Said Miss Taylor.
"You are Bob Spaulding, aren’t you?"
"Yes, I’m."
"Well, thank you, Bob."
"Could I do them every day?"
He asked.
"Don’t you think you should
let the other try?"
"I’d like to do them." He
said. "Every day."
"We’ll try it for a while
and see." She said.
He lingered.
"I think you’d better run
home." She said, finally.
"Good night." He walked slowly
and was gone.
The next morning he happened
by the place where she took board and room just as she was coming out to
walk to school.
"Well, here I am." He said.
"And do you know." She said.
"I’m not surprised."
They walked together.
"May I carry your books?"
He asked.
"Why, thank you, Bob."
"It’s nothing." He said, taking
them.
They walked for a few minutes
and he did no say a word. She glanced over and slightly down at him and
saw how at ease he was and how happy he seemed, and she decided to let
him break the silence, but he never did. When they reached the edge of
the school ground he gave the books back to her. "I guess I better leave
you here." He said. "The other kids wouldn’t understand."
"I’m not sure I do, either,
Bob." Said Miss Taylor.
"Why we’re friends." Said
Bob earnestly and with a great natural honesty.
"Bob --" She started to say.
"I’ll be in class." He said.
And he was in class, and he
was there after school every night for the next two weeks, never saying
a word, quietly washing the boards and cleaning the eraser and rolling
up the maps while she worked at her papers, and there was the clock silence
of four o’clock, the silence of sun going down in the slow sky, the silence
with the catlike sound of erasers patted together, and the drip of water
from a moving sponge, and rustle and turn of papers and scratch of a pen,
and perhaps the buzz of a fly banging with a tiny high anger the tallest
clean pane windows in the room. Sometimes the silence would go on this
way until almost five, when Miss Taylor would find Bob Spaulding in the
last seat of the room, sitting and looking at her silently, waiting for
further orders.
"Well, it’s time to go home."
Miss Taylor would say, getting up.
"Yes’m."
And he would run to fetch
and coat. He would also lock the school-room door for her unless the janitor
was coming in later. Then they would lock out of the school and across
the yard , which was empty, the janitor taking down the chain swing slowly
on his stepladder, the sun behind the umbrella trees. They talked of all
sorts of things.
"And what are you going to
be, Bob, when you grow up?"
"A writer." He said.
"Oh, that is a big ambition:
it takes a lot of work."
"I know, but I’m going to
try." He said. "I’ve read a lot."
"Bob, haven’t you anything
to do after school?"
"How do you mean?"
I mean, I hate to see you
kept in so much, washing the boards."
"I like it." He said. "I never
do what I don’t like."
"But nevertheless."
"No, I’ve got to that." He
said. He thought for a while and said "Do me a favour, Miss Taylor?"
"It all depends."
"I walk every Saturday from
out around Buetrick Street along the creek to Lake Michigan. There’s a
lot of butterflies and crayfish and birds. Maybe you’d like to walk, too."
"Thank you." She said.
"Then you’ll come?"
"I’m afraid not."
"Don’t you think it’d be fun?"
"Yes, I’m sure of that, but
I’m going to be busy."
He started to ask what, but
stopped.
"I take along sandwiches."
He said. " Ham-and-pickle ones. And orange pop and just walk along, taking
my time. I get down to the lake about non and go back and get home about
three o’clock. It makes a real fine day, and I wish you come. Do you collect
butterflies? I have a big collection. We could start one for you."
"Thanks, Bob, but no, perhaps
some other time."
He looked at her and said.
"I shouldn’t have asked you, should I?"
"You have every right to ask
anything you want to." She said.
A few days later found an
old copy of ‘Great Expectation’, which she no longer wanted, and gave it
to Bob. He was very grateful and took it home and stayed up that night
and read it through and talked about it the next morning. Each day now
he met her just beyond sight of boarding house and many days she would
start to say "Bob --" and tell hem not to come to meet her any more, but
she never finished saying it, and be talked her about Dickens and Kipling
and Poe and others, coming and going to school. She found a butterfly on
her desk on Friday morning. She almost waved it away before she found it
was dead and had been placed there while she was out of the room. She glanced
at Bob over the heads of her other students, but he was looking his book;
not reading, just looking at it.
It was about this time that
she found impossible to call on Bob to recite in class. She would hover
her pencil about his name and then call the next person up or down the
list. Nor would she look at him while they were walking to or from school.
But on several late afternoons as he moved his arm on the blackboard, sponging
away the arithmetic symbols, she found herself glancing over at him for
a few second at a time before she returned to her papers.
And then on Saturday morning
he was standing in the middle of the creek with his overalls rolled up
to his knees, kneeling down the catch a crayfish under a rock, when he
looked up and there on the edge of the return stream was Miss Ann Taylor.
"Well, here I am." She said,
laughing.
"And do you know," he said
"I’m not surprised."
"Show me the crayfish and
the butterflies." She said.
They walked down to the lake
and sat on the sand with a warm wind blowing softly about them, fluttering
her hair and the ruffle of her blouse, and he sat a few yards back from
her and they ate the ham-and-pickle sandwiches and drank the orange pop
solemnly.
"Gee, this is swell." He said.
"This is the swellest time ever in my life."
"I didn’t think I would ever
come on a picnic like this." She said.
"With some kid." He said.
"I’m comfortable, however."
She said.
"That’s good news."
They said little else during
the afternoon.
"This is all wrong," he said
later "and I can’t figure out why it should be. Just walking along and
catching old butterflies and crayfish and eating sandwiches. But Mom and
Dad’d rib the heck out of me if they knew, and the kids would, too. And
the other teachers, I suppose, would laugh at you, wouldn’t they?"
"I’m afraid so."
"I guess we better not do
any more butterfly catching, then."
"I don’t exactly understand
how I came here at all." she said.
And the day was over.
That was about all there was
to the meeting of Ann Taylor and Bob Spaulding, two or three monarch butterflies,
a copy of Dickens, a dozen crayfish, four sandwiches and two bottles of
Orange Crush. The next Monday, quite unexpectedly, though he waited a long
time, Bob did not see Miss Taylor come out to walk to school, but discovered
later that she had left earlier and was already at school. Also, Monday
night, she left early, with a headache, and another teacher finished her
last class. He walked by her boarding house but did not see her anywhere,
and he was afraid to ring bell and inquire.
On Tuesday night after school
they were both in the silent room again, he sponging the board contently,
as if this might go on forever, and she seated, working on her papers as
if she, too, would be in this room and this particular peace and happiness
forever, when suddenly the courthouse clock struck. It was a block away
and this great bronze boom shuddered one’s body and made the ash of time
shake away off your bones and slide through your blood, making you seem
older by the minute. Stunned by that clock, you could not but sense the
crashing flow of time, and as the clock said five o’clock Miss Taylor suddenly
looked up at it for a long time, and then she put down her pen.
"Bob." She said.
He turned, startled. Neither
of them had spoken in the peaceful and good hour before.
"Will you come here?" She
asked.
He put down the sponge slowly.
"Yes." He said.
"Bob, I want you sit down."
"Yes’m."
She looked at him intently
for a moment until he looked away. "Bob, I wonder if you know what I’m
going to talk to you about. Do you know?"
"Yes."
"Maybe it’d be a good idea
if you told me, first."
"About us." He said, at last.
"How old are you, Bob?"
"Going on fourteen."
"You’re thirteen years old."
He winced. "Yes’m."
"And do you know how old I
am?"
"Yes’m. I heard. Twenty-four."
"Twenty-four."
"I’ll be twenty-four in ten
years, almost." He said.
"But unfortunately you’re
not twenty-four now."
"No, but sometimes I feel
twenty-four."
"Yes, and sometimes you almost
act it."
"Do I really."
"Now sit still there, don’t
bound around, we’ve a lot to discuss. It’s very important that we understand
exactly what is happening, don’t you agree?"
"Yes, I guess so."
"First, let’s admit that we
are the greatest and the best friends of the world. Let’s admit I have
never had a student like you, nor I had as much affection for any boy I’ve
ever know." He flushed at this. She went on. "And let me speak for you
-- you’ve found me to be the nicest teacher of all teachers you’ve ever
know."
"Oh, more than that." He said.
"Perhaps more than that, but
there are facts to be faced and an entire way of life to be considered.
I’ve thought this over for a good many days, Bob. Don’t think I missed
anything, or been unaware of my own feelings in the matter. Under any normal
circumstances our friendship would be odd indeed. But then you are no ordinary
boy. I know my self pretty well, I think, and I know I’m not sick, either
mentally or physically, and that whatever has evolved here has been true
regard for your character and goodness, Bob; but those are not the things
we consider in this world, Bob, unless they occur in a man of certain age.
I don’t know if I’m saying this right."
"It’s all right." He said.
"It’s just if I was ten years older and about fifteen inches taller it’d
make all the difference, and that’s silly," he said "to go by tall a person
is."
"The world hasn’t found it
so."
"I’m not all the world." He
protested.
"I know it seem foolish."
She said. "When you feel very grown up and right and have nothing to be
ashamed of. You have nothing at all to be ashamed off, Bob, remember that.
You have been very honest and good, and I hope I have been, too."
"You have." He said.
"In an ideal climate, Bob,
maybe someday they will be able to judge the oldness of a person’s mind
so accurately that you can say ‘This is a man, though is body is only thirteen;
by miracle of circumstances and fortune, this is a man, with a man’s recognition
of responsibility and position and duty’; but until that day, Bob, I’m
afraid we are going to have to go by ages and heights and ordinary way
in an ordinary world."
"I don’t like that." He said.
"Perhaps I don’t like it,
either, but do you want to end up far unhappier than you are now? Do you
want both of us to be unhappy? Which we certainly would be. There really
is no way to do anything about us -- it is so strange even to try to talk
about us."
"Yes’m."
"But at least we know all
about us and the fact of that we have been right and fair and good and
there is nothing wrong with our knowing each other, nor did we ever intended
that it should be, for both understand how impossible it is, don’t we?"
"Yes, I know. But I can’t
help it."
"Now we must decide what to
do about it." She said. "Now only you and I know about this. Later, other
might know. I can secure a transfer from this school to another one --"
"No!"
"Or I can have you transferred
to another school."
"You don’t have to do that."
He said.
"Why?"
"We’re moving. My folks and
I, we’re going to live in Madison. We’re leaving next week."
"It has nothing to do with
all this, has it?"
"No, no, everything’s all
right. It’s just that my father has a new job there. It’s only fifty miles
away. I can see you, can’t I, when I come to town?"
"Do you think that would be
a good idea?"
"No, I guess not."
They sat awhile in the silent
schoolroom.
"When did all of this happen?"
he said, helplessly.
"I don’t know." She said.
"Nobody ever knows. They haven’t known for thousands of years. And I don’t
think they ever will. People either like each other or don’t, and sometimes
two people like each other who shouldn’t. I can’t explain myself, and certainly
you can’t explain you."
"I guess I’d better get home."
He said.
"You’re not mad at me, are
you?"
"Oh, gosh no, I could never
be mad at you."
"There’s one more thing. I
want you to remember, there are compensations in life. There always are,
or we wouldn’t go on living. You don’t feel well, now; neither do I. But
something will happen to fix that. Do you believe that?"
"I’d like to."
"Well, it’s true."
"If only." He said.
"What?"
"If only you’d wait for me."
He blurted.
"Ten years?"
"I’d be twenty-four then."
"But I’d be thirty-four and
another person entirely, perhaps. No, I don’t think it can be done."
"Wouldn’t you like it to be
done?" He cried.
"Yes." She said quietly. "It’s
silly and it wouldn’t work, but I would like it very much."
He sat there a long time.
"I’ll never forget you." He
said.
"It’s nice for you to say
that, even though it can be true, because life isn’t that way. You’ll forget."
"I’ll never forget. I’ll find
a way of never forgetting you." He said.
She got up and went to erase
the boards.
"I’ll help you." He said.
"No, no." She said. "You go
on now, get home, and no more tending to the boards after school. I’ll
assign Helen Stevens to do it."
He left school. Looking back,
outside, he saw Miss Ann Taylor, for the last time, at the board, slowly
washing out chalked words, her hand moving up and down.
He moved away from the town
the next week and gone for sixteen years. Though he was only fifty miles
away, he never got down to Green Town again until he was almost thirty
and married, and then one spring they were driving through on their way
to Chicago and stopped off for a day.
Bob left his wife at the hotel
and walked around town and finally asked about Miss Ann Taylor, but no-one
remembered at first, and then one of them remembered.
"Oh, yes, the pretty teacher.
She died in 1936, not longer after you left."
Had she ever married? No,
come to think of it, she never had.
He walked out to the cemetery
in the afternoon and found her stone, which said "Ann Taylor, born 1910,
died 1936." And he thought, twenty-six years old. Why I’m three years older
than you are now, Miss Taylor.
Later in the day the people
in the town saw Bob Spaulding’s wife strolling to meet him under the elm
trees and the oak trees, and they all turned to watch her pass, for her
face shifted with bright shadows as she walked; she was the fine peaches
of summer in the snow of winter, and she was cool milk for cereals on a
hot early-summer morning. And this was one of those rare few days in time
when the climate was balanced like a maple leaf between wind that blow
just right, one of those days that should have been named, everyone agreed,
after Robert Spaulding’s wife.
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